Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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