i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Randomize