You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
