Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
