somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
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