Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Randomize
