let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
What drink are we having for lunch?
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Randomize