Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
