I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
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