The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Randomize
