I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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