batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
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