yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
I FOUND THE LEGS
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
