but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
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