I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
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