I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I said "one day" and that day is not today
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
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