Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
