I'm so fucking centered right now
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
worst night to have a conscience
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
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