everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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