p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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