butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
