I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
