saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
My bed smells like the plague
This can only be settled by a dance off.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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