its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize