where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
and i looked up. we had an audience...
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
