If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
