I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Blood and glitter go together right?
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Randomize
