Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
