The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Randomize