We tried having a conversation with our noses.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
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