he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
