When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
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