I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I just threw up on my dentist
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Damn victory sex feels great
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
