It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Randomize
