why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
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