Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Randomize
