I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Randomize
