upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Randomize
