Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
