You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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