like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
they're like a gay fantastic four
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
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