The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Randomize
