once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
