He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
