Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
Taylor Swift is so right about you.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Randomize
