swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
