he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
I just googled if crying burns calories
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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