In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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