i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
