Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
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