This is not my ceiling
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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