Tell her she can't have a vagina
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
Michael Bay diarrhea
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize