3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize