she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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