I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Couch. On fire.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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