i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
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