come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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