Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
Randomize
