I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
Randomize
