i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Randomize
