Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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