..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
