woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Randomize
