Rock
Scissors
Fuck
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Pooping to opera.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize