You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Randomize
