he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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