her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
