he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
