are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Randomize